How To BOMBard Shinobi
by LuckyBug192
Summary: Gokudera Hayato had experienced many crazy things in his young life. He had dealt with his own share of absurdity. But this...This definitely took the cake. / / The Shinobi world better be prepared...because Gokudera Hayato definitely wasn't when he was thrown into this mess. (Title may change)


Gokudera Hayato had experienced many crazy things in his young life.

He had become the right-hand man of the Vongola Decimo. He had become the Storm Guardian. He had traveled into the future. He had fought various opponents considered to be stronger and leagues ahead of him.

Suffice to say, he had dealt with his own share of absurdity.

But this...This definitely took the cake.

* * *

It started on a seemingly normal day -

"VOIII!"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Trash?"

"HIEEEE! Please stop - "

"You're still the same as ever, Dame-Tsuna."

"Ushishishi. The prince is amused."

"Hn. I'll bite you to death, herbivore."

"Hahaha! You guys sure are having fun."

\- Well, as normal as it could get when the Varia visit.

They were all situated in the Vongola Mansion. Unfortunately (or should it be 'fortunately'?), this was a common occurrence, so nobody was really bothered...Well, except Tsuna, that is. Paperwork aside, his family, despite how much he loved them, was stressful.

"Boss!" Gokudera exclaimed.

Tsuna turned his head, resigned. "Yes?" He asked.

"Check out this new move of mine! It can destroy an entire town!"

"You don't have to demonstrate..." The Vongola Decimo implored.

"But - "

"To...le...rate..." A young Lambo desperately tried to hold back his tears after nearly being sliced in half courtesy of Belphegor and getting thrown half-way across the room by a person yet to be identified.

Lambo suddenly let out a wail. "WAHHHH!" He pulled out a bazooka.

Gokudera could tell by the sudden stiffness of his Boss' shoulders that _something was definitely wrong_.

"Lambo," The Sawada tried to stop him. "Don't!"

But alas, it was too late.

Turns out that the weapon lambo fired was _not_ the Ten Year Bazooka. No, it was completely different.

And it was aimed right at Gokudera.

He didn't even process the entire situation before his vision faded into darkness.

* * *

 _Boom!_ _Boom!_ _Boom!_ _Boom!_

"Tsuchikage-sama!" An Iwa chunin rushed inside his Kage's office. "There's an intruder outside the village and he seems to be destroying the entire perimeter!"

Onoki blinked and resignedly rubbed the bridge of his nose.

One would think that the Kage would immediately rush in to save the day, but no. The Tsuchikage was having none of that.

Were his shinobi that weak to be unable to face one person?

Really, how disgraceful.

* * *

Later, Onoki would go back to his office with singed clothes and soot dusting his face all the way to his arms.

 _How in Kami's name does one man manage to keep an unidentifiable - probably, infinity or close - amount of bombs in his pockets?_

 _Without any storage seals no less?!_

* * *

The Raikage did nothing, but let out a laugh upon hearing the rumors of a bad bomber.

Apparently, one man managed to wipe out half of the entirety of Iwa's shinobi - Jounin, no less!

That was impossible.

Unless you were the Yellow Flash, of course.

A shook his head in amusement. Whoever started this rumor was either completely stupid or had a devious plan forming in his mind. After all, starting a rumor about a bomber who was able to beat Iwa's finest without using any chakra would make any hunter-nin go wild.

Baiting all of them in a wild goose chase.

He let out a sigh. But all lies had a hint of truth in them.

Some say that the man had silver hair. (A bastard Hatake, perhaps?) He also carried an unidentifiable amount of explosives on his person. (A master sealer and an illusionist to hide the traces of his seals, maybe)

There were also whispers about red flames. A hidden kekkei genkai, most likely.

It's strange, though. From what the intelligence A has gathered so far, all of them seem to state the same thing.

The man didn't use any chakra. Or better yet, no one was able to sense his chakra. At all.

It was strange.

For such a thing to be real...It was nigh impossible

The Raikage shook his head once more. The stories people could come up with...

But like the saying goes: 'All lies have a hint of truth in them'.

A slumped into his chair and contemplated whether or not to continue delving into this matter. In the end, he decided it was best to put a pause on something most likely from a baseless rumor...though, it wouldn't hurt to probe further into the details of the story later.

He settled for reaching his pen and continuing the dreaded paperwork when B burst into his office.

...

"I'll go get you a new table, Raikage-sama." His assistant sighed, already used to her Kage's rather _violent_ reactions.

* * *

The Raikage's reaction wasn't unwarranted, tough. Anyone would be surprised when their brother-slash-resident-Jinchuuriki tells them that their Bijuu advised them to stay away from the man's Flames.

* * *

Mei's eyebrows twitched.

"What." She asked rather dryly.

Chojuro shuffled awkwardly in front of the Mizukage. "T-That's what happened, Mei-sama."

The red-haired woman turned her attention to the eye-patched man. "And what of you, Ao? Is what Chojuro saying really true?"

Ao could do nothing, but silently nod, wincing when the scratches on his arms let out an unexpected sting.

Terumi Mei sighed and skimmed her fingers through the filed reports.

She had heard whispers about the so-called "Hurricane Bomb Hayato". A silver-haired man who sometimes spoke in some sort of code that people have come to name as 'The Italian'.

In the past two months of his grand appearance, people - shinobi and civilians alike - have learned to fear (Reasonably, of course) of a man who addresses himself as Gokudera Hayato, the right-hand man of the Vongola Decimo.

Mei's mind struggled understanding what a 'Vongola' is. Was it some sort of dying clan? Or was it some cult like the Janshinists?

Whatever it was, she has never heard of it in her entire life.

The Mizukage rubbed her temples. She could just feel a headache coming on.

* * *

Honestly, who would believe if someone told them that a cat _turned into_ a lion and proceeded to maul them?

After mauling its owner first, of course.

* * *

"What do you suggest we do, Tsunade-sama?" An apprehensive Gaara asked the Hokage through the form of a letter.

There has been not-so far-fetched rumors flying around the whole of the Elemental Nations about a silver-haired man who used bombs as his main weapon, never using chakra even once during battles.

Many shinobi who have come face-to-face with him would launch into tales of their glorious battle. How valiant they stood and how they fought with all their might.

It was bemusing, Tsunade thought, how the heaviest damage the man, Gokudera Hayato, inflicted was a few broken bones.

There has been no deaths by his hand that anyone knew of.

Some, who lost to him, would attest to the fact that he was actually merciful.

Conspiracy theories about him have sprung up in the past four months he's been roaming around the Elemental Nations.

Some say that he's an illusionist - one so powerful that the damage he inflicted actually caused physical injuries.

Another said that he spared his enemies in hopes of them becoming stronger to face him in the near-future.

It was all a jumbled mess.

When Gokudera appeared, the entire shinobi force of all Hidden Villages were thrown into a frenzy.

Tsunade rested her chin on her palm.

Gokudera Hayato...quite the enigma indeed.

Now, to answer Gaara's previous inquiry...

"I suggest we go and drink sake." She pushed aside her files and paperwork. "Shizune! Get me three - no, four - bottles of sake!" She stood up and walked over to the exit of her office. "It's going to be a long day."

Tsunade swore on her title as Hokage, she'd kill the person who started all this.

* * *

In another universe, one Lambo Bovino sneezed.


End file.
